Been such a long time since I post an entry here....nope, not that I got nothing to post, but I was really not in the mode of creating entries... ehm, my initial intention was to create a blog so I can pen down my memories with my 3 children... but seems like now is the digital age where we can find everything online and somehow I feel abit lost on our little privacy. I do not like the fact that all our private lives are posted online, I really wanna keep a little something for my 3 children to look back at when they grow bigger and know what their mummy had done for them and with them during their growing up years... it's a dilemma for me...
I always try to pen down a new year resolution yearly since I started this blog... but my resolutions were never met, which I thought not to do it this year and thus no entries for the new year till now... what a lame excuse.. hahaha.. well, children, really sorry... mummy had been really lazy recently... too many things are on mommy's plate and I also do not know which are the priorities thing I should start with....
1. I thought I should do a clean up of my blog, to remove all my children's names appearing and start replacing them with a letter or 2 so when my children do a search on goggle, their photos do not pop up!!! I guess they do need some privacy growing up!
2. Although I feel I had put in extra effort to manage my time and put in much more time at home with my children and cooking meals for them this year, however, I feel am not being appreciated... I keep telling myself my children and hubby would know somehow and that whatever I do should not be measured in anyways.... but somehow am feeling really sad when my own mother's day was not celebrated.... oh well, I did receive my 3 children self made cards telling me how much they loved me... ehm, guess I can't have other expectations cos to them it's just another Sunday! And whatever I had done for them are not things they liked thus nothing to feel gratified for. A truly unforgettable day for me after all these 13 years... guess better for the kids when they were still in childcare where teachers still teach them to make diy gifts and cards for their mummies!!
3. I sometimes wished that am not such a capable person I am today. Am a working mother, helping my dad to run his constructions business. And ever since last year Jan, he's not able to work, I had been running it on my own with the help of my capable project manager and about 18 workers! Besides running to sites for some meetings or safety meetings, I also need to make sure I pick up my 3 children from school daily and making sure they got their lunch! And once back home, ensure they do their homework while I busy plan for our dinner, running markets at some early morning to buy fresh produce home. All my children have different taste buds and the food they like are all different. So, while I get busy at home, I also need to make sure I work from home doing all the necessary paper work so the business can operate while am not in my office. Lucky my current domestic helper is helpful, so my house is kept clean with her help. Sometimes I need to bring my children for other lessons and any other domestic errands I need to run, Will be done personally by myself. My hubby is always busy with his work, he's a teacher but his time in school seems to be more then the time he is at home. Therefore, I had learned to be very independent as he is not able to take leave to help run small errands. Thus he had so far, left running of the house under my care, which I do not know if it's cause he trusted me or he feels whatever needs to be done will be taken care of 'automatically'. But I need him to know, am putting in all my efforts in this family, I hope you can see or feel it and know that am doing all out of love for the 3 children and you. And trying my best here to hold on to it and I do hope you can appreciate it. I still need the love you promised when we decided to spend our lives together. No matter what had happened, am still the little woman who needs to be loved and pampered with. Sorry if I had became a person whom you loathed now, even talking to me seems like a pain to you. It does not feel good when everything I did is seen as 应该的。 I was my parents well loved daughter too, be it a mother of 3 now, they will loved and helped me unconditionally, pls bear this in mind.
4. My 3 precious children, mummy will always love you 3 all my life and will always be here for you. No matter what happened, I always hope the best of interest for you 3. Become a happy person always, do things you like and love. But remember, not everything you do is the results you have hoped for, just remember so long you put in your effort, everything will be ok. Success will come when you put in your best effort. Learn from you mistakes and not repeat it again. To err is human, learn to forgive and forget. Do not bear grudges, learn to forgive and move on. Mummy hope you 3 learn to be independent as you grow up. Am glad that Ad is able to go for the exchange program this year with your school mates. You will be able to enjoy it and will serve as a good memory for you when you grow up.
